/nosleep: Don't Check the Locks. Don't Look at the Door. - revfitz.com

/nosleep: Don’t Check the Locks. Don’t Look at the Door.

Monday, 1:15 AM:

♫Sunny day

Sweepin’ the clouds away

Ignore the knocking on the door. Keep watching the DVD, turn the volume up if you have to. The knocking will get louder. Ignore it. Watch Sesame Street, think happy thoughts. Fucking sing along if you have to. It’s 1:15.

That first night it started with poor little Daniel, my boy. He was the easiest to scare. He kept coming to our bed at night, crying, saying that there was a “scary man” with no eyes knocking on his window. Of course, I checked around the house, what father wouldn’t? But no one was there. We let him sleep with us, and I kept my gun under my pillow. The second night it happened Maggie was sure that Daniel was just having nightmares.

Think about what they did to him. Keep it in your mind. Think about how unfair it is for a father to outlive his son. Think about his poor cold body. Be sad. Be devastated. Just don’t be afraid. Fear is what they want. Ignore the knocking on the door.

Tuesday, 1:10 AM:

The anticipation is almost worse than the knocking. You know that it is going to start in just five minutes, you know that it will be bad. You can’t be nervous, you can’t fret. That can easily turn into fear.

Don’t check the locks. Don’t look at the door. Just sit down and watch something lighthearted, something that isn’t scary. Daniel’s DVDs. Sesame Street. It will all be over soon.

…And just like that, right on the dot. It’s 1:15 and they are knocking.

♫Come and play

Everything’s A-Okay

Don’t think about their faces. No eyes, only smiles. Only teeth. Flat, wet teeth. Snap out of it! Just look at the screen.

♫Friendly neighbors there

That’s where we meet

Just look at Big Bird and his stupid fucking giant head. Ignore the thrashing at your door.

The third night Daniel didn’t come to our room. Ironic enough Maggie and I were grateful. We slept great. We thought he was over his nightmares.

That morning he was face down in the bathtub, dead for hours.


Wednesday, 1:15 AM:

Start the DVD on full blast. Skip the parts with The Count. It’s his teeth. Don’t think about teeth. The knocking is louder. How can it possibly be louder?! Think about your wife. Your poor wife. Get angry, get pissed, get into it and thrash around if you have to. Just don’t get scared.

Don’t even think about looking at the door.

♫It’s a magic carpet ride

Every door will open wide

They didn’t even wait for us to grieve. Maggie heard it next. They knocked on the bathroom window. She screamed. Goddammit she screamed. Their smiles grew wider, their teeth, their many many teeth.

♫To happy people like you—

Happy people like-

Once she was afraid they had her. It didn’t matter that they were outside. She ran out of the bathroom, her eyes wide with terror, animalistic terror and she ran over to my pillow. Before I knew it my gun was in her mouth and she was smiling. Before I knew it I lost the rest of my family.

Thursday, 1:15 AM

♫Come and play

Everything’s A-Okay

Skip over the parts with The Count, don’t watch Cookie Monster eat. Ignore the fact that the knocking is now above you. Just watch Daniel’s DVD and don’t think about their smiles. Don’t think about their wet warm teeth spreading far across their no-face. Don’t think about their wriggling tongues behind those teeth.

♫Every door will open wide

Don’t be paranoid. Don’t look over your shoulder. Don’t think about how thin the door is. Don’t be afraid. Be anything but afraid. Watch the happy kid’s show. Be happy. Eternally and finally happy. Joyously, rapturously happy! Embrace your smile.

♫To happy people like you—

Happy people like…


The original /nosleep. Listen to the narration.

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Rev. Fitz
M.P. Fitzgerald (Rev. Fitz) is an author, illustrator, and amateur Mad Scientist who lives in Seattle.


  1. Well thanks for ruining Seasame Street, Fitz!! Awesome work, man! Super creepy. I think I read the last 2 paragraphs without blinking.

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