Day Twelve: EidolonBound

The old adage goes that “you should not judge a book by its cover” and though it is a virtuous sentiment it is not one that is typically followed. Welcome to day five of my 31 Days of First Impressions Challenge! In this challenge I will be reading the first entry or chapter of a different serial (or web fiction) and then give my first impressions on them be they good or bad. In short: I will be judging a book by its cover.

Today’s serial is titled EidolonBound, by justinwenger7 who is sometimes justinwenger4. Both are good numbers.

Site Design:

EidolonBound is hosted on The Royal Road Legends, my thoughts on the site have not changed and as such I will not be going over it too much. Now that I am familiar with it the quality of the author’s writing counts triple as that is all I have to go on.

Splash Page:

As of this writing, justinwenger7 does not have the benefit of the high ratings that the other Royal Road Legends serials had. His serial looks to be in its early stages. With that said, I found the description on the splash page to be compelling, and I would have walked away from it with a more positive view had there not been a spelling mistake in it (the word was “giften”). I can be forgiving of a spelling mistake, hell, I make them myself ALL OF THE TIME. Having them on the splash page though, which is the first thing anybody sees, is egregious.

The Hook:

“Eidos City Park/Monday/ 3:30 A.M Over the past 8 months, Nate North had developed a routine for the sleepless nights. After trying to get back to sleep for around 15 minutes, he would change into some  street clothes, leave his apartment, buy some candy bars at the convenience store, and then walk 10 minutes to the park, where he would eat his candy bars in peace.”- EidolonBound, Chapter 1: A Fateful Encounter.

I did this exact thing at the age of this character (16), so this hook has the bonus of being immediately sympathetic to me. I’m honestly not sure if I am a fan of the Place/Day/Time tags like this in stories, but they are efficient. At the end of the day there is nothing wrong with this hook, but the author has not grabbed my attention.

The Chapter:

The chapter takes place entirely in the park, as the boy has a “conversation” with his deceased mother. This is another thing that immediately has my sympathies as I too lost my mother at a young age. It quickly takes a turn in pace and tone though, as our protagonist is met with a malicious demon summoner. The action is quickly paced which was refreshing as the first part of the chapter felt a little slow. The author makes a lot of simple spelling mistakes though, all of which would NOT show up in a spell checker. As I stated earlier, I can forgive a spelling mistake or two, but the amount here was enough to become very noticeable. This is unfortunate as the mistakes slow the pace of the otherwise fast paced action. The chapter ends with an air of mystery, though I found the content to be very confusing. I could not tell who was supposed to be talking. The splash page mentioned a character named “JOKER” who I think the author is trying to imply as the one speaking, but it could have been more clear.

The Verdict:

EidolonBound feels a lot like a comic book or a fantasy based manga. This is not a bad thing. To the right audience, EidolonBound could be very compelling. Would I continue reading it? I can’t! At the time of this writing the first chapter is the only one in the series. At this time if it were up, I would not keep reading though. If the author fixes his spelling mistakes, and makes the ending of the chapter clearer, I could be wooed back.

The EidolonBound can be found at http://royalroadl.com/fiction/11557.

Join me tomorrow for my impressions on thelonewanderer’s serial The Open Road, or check out my own serial:

You Kant have Breakfast

Rev. Fitz
Michael Fitzgerald (Rev. Fitz) is a writer, illustrator, and amateur Electrical Engineer who lives in Seattle.

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